bah bah black sheep

2007-11-22T22:12:00.000+08:00

i moved yo.

http://deboisthebomb.livejournal.com

ciao.

smelloo.

2007-11-11T11:11:00.000+08:00

mm, blog's dying or dead.
im finally free enough to type a decent post.
anw. past few days, looking for grad night dress.
which, did i mention, is this coming thursday.
alright, at least ive got my dress.
a whole bulk of worry gone. thank goodness.
hmm. have deen refecting lately.
realised i havent done that in a long long time.
well, like i was, even until now,
i still cant wait till o's are over,
till i can get out of this school for good.
but a part of me still lingers.
still want to be in history.
and then, i think, of the good friends
who were always always there for me.
and still is.
chellie, mary, jamie.
and to think that i neglect them sometimes.
makes me feel like a big bi@%#$@tch.

mm, i was packing my books,
and found a poem written by me for my mum,
and realise how long since ive last wriiten a poem.
i lost it i guess.
lost the inspiration, lost the words.
cus i tried recently, and i just couldnt.
sometimes i wonder what im really good at.

and then i think of bastards.
the kind of bastards that hurt many of my friends,
the bastards who just cant help but have another,
or who just cant control their horny yellow dicks.
those bastards who think love is equal to touch.
wash your butt boy.
all these recent happenings make me wanna just,
not know the world.
like i wanna close myself and never open up.
cus even the best guys to you,
may just turn out the worst.
so fuck it, all guys are sluts.
and the girls,
uh. that's why i hate the internet.
scandals scandals and more scandals.
really, is there anth else in the world
you like to do better than that?
maybe im just being an emo motherfucker.
thinking of things that are not exactly necessary.

wokay, i dont wanna end this post emo-ly.
so hmm. O'S ARE ALMOST OVER.
oh screw accounts mcq really.
pth. i could be out now, worry-free.
tskkkkkkk.

ahhhhhhhh. im on the phone with my 'evil aunt in canada'.
ughhhhhhhh puke.
OH LORD. she's seriously annoying.
im like putting the phone away from my ear,
and i still can hear her.
she's like going on and on.
she is like soooo not stopping.
we're not having a conversation,
im not talking man.
'ya okay.' 'okay' 'ya okay' 'mmhm'.

pth. alrightt im trying to change my template.
but i cant find a proper one. help?

ciao.

2007-11-05T20:25:00.001+08:00

you make me hate the people i love.

2007-10-18T22:46:00.000+08:00

first you say you wont
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still
-, you've got me on my knees
-, it's killing me.

2007-10-04T01:27:00.000+08:00

tell me all of your hopes,
all of your dreams,
i want you to take me there.
tell me all of your hopes,
all of your dreams,
i want to take you there.

2007-09-16T22:03:00.001+08:00

miss me, mo.
=)

2007-09-13T18:55:00.000+08:00

i cant believe i posted that picture.

2007-09-13T14:19:00.000+08:00

Jamie Genevieve Shannon Lee Yaling.

everyone needs a friend to hold,

when it's cold outside

and there's no place to go.

everyone needs a friend to hold,

all alone I cried

there was no place to go.

i remember when nobody cared

but you.

i'm not the easiest person to love,

but you, you've opened your heart to show me what i'm worth.

cus you choose to be on the side of me,

on the side of me.

2007-08-27T16:12:00.000+08:00

you dont know what you got until you say goodbye.

2007-08-21T12:20:00.000+08:00

my family, you, me were somewhere.
we were happy.
held hands, smiles, and laughter.
felt perfect?
woke up, back to reality.
and realised i was late fr school.
slept back,
hoping the dream would continue its story.
but the fact is, it hasnt even started.

2007-08-13T15:25:00.000+08:00

cus im stuck here
in this world that never matures.

2007-08-10T16:03:00.000+08:00

you take someone's breath away.
you rob them of the ability to utter a single word.
you steal a heart.

2007-08-08T23:05:00.000+08:00

wooh yeah.
today was good man.
starting off with national day mass, which was a bomb baby.
glad all went well.
what's more, getting a praise from mrs t, who said that "it was the best ive ever heard"
totally put a it-was-all-worth-it smile on my face.
oh gawd. hell yeah. after all that fcuked up practices that we had.
seriously emphasing on that description.
anw.
after natonal day celebrations, we were on our way to seoul garden,
jaywalked on the road between ngeeann and wisma,
and the 174 bus passed by. which in chinese, is yi qi si (die together).
freakass funny.

so anw. we ate.
A HELL LOT.
debo had about 783264732618 slices of tomatoes.
HAHHA.
im not going to laosai mary-o.
wah i swear at the end of it all,
i had a 5 months pregnant woman's stomach.
i was a ball.

okay gotta fix my light.
ciao yall.
till after prelims.

2007-07-28T23:35:00.001+08:00

heat in my liver

2007-07-26T15:12:00.000+08:00

one fire burns out
another's burning,
one pain is lessen'd
by another's anguish.
- william shakespeare

2007-07-22T16:08:00.000+08:00

"you close your eyes" coop answered, "and jump."

2007-07-21T18:42:00.000+08:00

12 points it is momo.
a promise is a promise.

he needs a genuine girl,
and im not it.

2007-07-21T13:45:00.000+08:00

white flag.
guess that doctor was right.
im simply hot tempered.

2007-07-19T17:06:00.000+08:00

I don't,
don't wanna take you home
Please don't,
don't make me sleep alone
If I could,
I'd only want to make you smile
If you were to stay with me a while.

debo needs to study.

2007-07-17T15:41:00.000+08:00

what are true friends seroiusly.
im truly tired and exhausted from trying.
and maybe today i felt it.
suppressed anger maybe?
cus ive been tolerating for quite long?
and now, im so close to the conclusion that this friendship wont last.
i dont know man.
some part of me just makes me think
you guys are all about
dressing, fame, boyfriends, clubs, concerts and what not.
even if you say the opposite,
your actions show a different thing.
like i feel like a spare tyre maybe?
like when you've got no friends with you,
your just so glad we're there.
i can see it, i can see it through and through.
by post-sec, it wont be the same.
and it brings me to tears?
i feel like a loser just wanting to cry.

maybe my words are too harsh or exaggerated.
like im just too emo now.
but however this matter may look small to you,
its still a matter. and i think the outcome would be exactly the same.

i hate this life. cus i cant control it.

im sorry i happen to be different.

2007-07-16T22:44:00.000+08:00

OMG.
FINALLY MAN. my bloody blog account can work.
HAHA.
so anws.
hello people.
i hate school!
huh, what's new.
okay, so i applied for applied drama and psychology in sp through DPA.
and i cant wait to get there.
at least sth i can spend my precious time on.
rather than studying and fucks.
alright.
someone's pestering me to sleep.
bloody banana.

ciao.

2007-04-15T20:46:00.000+08:00

DEBORAH HOON'S AN IDIOT.
haha, hello idiot.
i bet you forgot abt me.
&&YOU nvr say hi to me.
ONLY dao me.
;(

2007-04-07T11:07:00.000+08:00

hi everybody.
my brother was using the com but went to the toilet cus he shet in his pants.
he was actually farting and he felt sth liquid.
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA.
so yeah man.
andddddd i had pft just now.
i slowed down cus i felt like i was peeing while running?
like really.
i dunno why man.
so anwws.
i think there's sth wrong in the genes.
ahwells.
think he's donee.

im gon take off.

ciao.

2007-04-05T11:26:00.000+08:00

im at home.

didnt turn up fr school again, what's new.
had a cold, but that's a lame excuse.
i just felt like i needed more rest.
and more time at home to catch up on work.

so here i am, sacrificing bio and accounts lessons.
fuck it.
okayy.
im going off now,
to do some shit work.

ciao.

2007-03-30T19:08:00.000+08:00

todayy;

PHYSICAL BLOODY FITNESS TEST.
i hate incline pull-ups.
stupid thg.
and the teacher DOESNT KNOW how to countttttttt.
i swear i could've gotten A for that shittttt.
hur.
no fair.
anw. mm, life's boring but tmr would be a happy day.
=))
kieran.
yay yay.
hope he doesnt get mood swings tmr. =(

okay ciao.

2007-03-20T17:28:00.000+08:00

I've got a perfectly normal heart,
Bruised and broken from within.
At times I don't know how to start.
To let you in here.
To let you in here.

So forgive me.
Cause I don't know what to do.
When you look at me,
There can be no hesitation.
There cannot be a close second to you,
I don't know what to do.
When you look at me.
When you look at me.

2007-03-19T22:26:00.000+08:00

your warm return; thought it'd never come.

ahhh.
a lizard on my mirror.
my heart was pumping
like it was gon come outta my mouth luh.
ahh. i think its still there. gross shit.
today's training was tiring and pissin.

teachers are giving up on us already,
and we seem like we're giving up on ourselves.
its not basketball anymore.
its, primary school "throw-ball-and-see-if-you-can-catch."
its sad. seriously seriously sad.
one of e reasons why i wanna get outta ij now.
even the least bit of my leisure, my passion, cant even make me wanna stay in ij.
ij bball? i dont think it means anth to the juniors.
they show it on the court.
if you aint got the attitude, you aint got nth.

everythg's making me sick,
physically, mentally, emotionally.

someone out there, please save me.
my heroes have died.

2007-03-18T22:01:00.000+08:00

yesterday;

saved chowie wowie frm loneliness in mos.
haha,
erh, i did like a few qns of physics?
hur.
we talked alotttt. as usual.
then,
met ta at tp, went one stupid ooloo staircase to fag.
needed to pee badly, so after her stick,
we went offffff.
thenn
decided to go to her house to study, which was at TIONG BAHRU.
goodness.
but honestly, was a nice place to mug.
just the wind, the book, and the bloody brain. fuck.
hate mugging.
hate homework.
hate deadlines.
hate school.
period.

after doing a teeny bit of work,
drank, cup after cup after cup.
honestly, i was just thirsty.
and the mixture nat does, is gooooooood man.
nat mixes, ta and deb drinks.
drank, high, drunk, puked.
felt like fuck, went to nat's. slept less than an hour.
spent the night talking to nat bout the whole wide world.
was good.
thankss nattttttttt.
=)
and her parents are UBER CUTE LUH.
HAHA.
and hell yeah nat has freedom.
hahaha.
anw, went home, had diarrhoea.
ugh.
could've collapsed cus i felt i had no strength.
needed FOOD.
so i ate and ate and ate and ate.
and now, I FEEL LIKE A FAT BITCH.
HAHAHHAHAHAH.
i love to say that, dont ask.

okay. hell starts tmr, fuck it.
math. probability sucks.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH. I HATE SCHOOL.
BYE MORONS.

ciao.

2007-03-15T15:30:00.000+08:00

I love myself I want you to love me
When I feel down I want you above me
I search myself I want you to find me
I forget myself I want you to remind me

bloody cheesy song.
hahahaha.

NA'S 17TH BDAY.

2007-03-15T14:53:00.000+08:00

14th march's night. 10.14pm.

woahh, we were standing at the right place.
what a cool candid pic.

the nice clean shirt before the cake fight.

oh gawd, DONT LOOK.
why e hell am i uploading this.

omgahh.
woke at 1.30pm,
had two slices of tuna bread with mayo.
then, had one slice of skippy peanut butter chocolate crunch. OMGAHH.
ITS LOVE LOVE LOVE.
wanna have more.
after i finish up this row of popiah.
talk about the diarrhoea man.

yesterday;

ANW,
i swear i can feel the bloody pimples coming again.
FUCK.
what do you expect when there's a whole lot of ice cream cake smashed ALL OVER your FACE,
YOUR BACK, AND YOUR BLOODY FRONT.
I LOOKED LIKE I VOMITED LAH. gawd.
i swear i could've killed ta fr starting it all.
yknow, sometimes when you just dont wanna be involved in these kinda fights,
you would stand somewhere quietly and not do anthg to anybody, right?
but ysee, it didnt quite happen fr me.
mmhm. yeap. uhhuh.

ahwells.
but it was fun huh.
the whole of it, from the endless laughter that got me 10 abs.
and the stupid cake fight, that nvr really ended.
and the present hunt that i made na do,
I HOPE YOU LIKE OUR PRESENTS NA.
OHYES, AND

A VERY HAPPY HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY to you. =)
150307

ciao.

so am i just getting boring fr you.

2007-03-12T14:51:00.000+08:00

hello everyone.

im in the sch's com lab with chowie wowie.
she's getting her fnN project done cus she's due.
and i am, well. waiting? bored bored bored.
huh.

someone made me feel life was worth living.
im unsure now.
guess everythg fades away.
huh.
i ~~dont like~~ hate life.
tell me somethin new.
somethin interesting.
cus im bored,
gagaga.

chellie.
hope your alright.
give it time okay.
and see how thgs go.
love.

ciao.

2007-03-09T19:43:00.000+08:00

presenting, AH-DEE, THE AHBENG. HUH.

PRESENTING AHLIAN/MINAH. HAHAHAHA.

damn i miss claud

MARY. ILL MISS YOU. =(

OMGAH. I LOOK LIKE IM CLAUD'S BOYFRIEND.=X

some pics to colour my blog, HAHA.

omgah.
previous post, i COULD'VE PUKED.
HAHAHHAHAHAH.
BWEAH.
oh yahh, ah-boo ah. MY PHONE ROCKS HUH.
HAHAHAHHA.
kokatoo.

anwwwww.
this mornin. SENT MARY, DAWN, TA, AND DREA OFF TO VIETNAM.
HUH.
im here to stay.
=(
that's why i was sooo damn bored today.
and called boo over, since she was bloody bored too, except watching her mtv(that i was starring).
after sending em off, went to paya lebar with na and yan.
OMG, YAN'S A SMALL BOY LAH.
sooo right for dawn. what an uber cute couple. =)
we laughed like shit, but i soon got tired, cus MENSY WENSY WAS DRAINING ME. AHH.
then, went home.
boo came over.
omgg, when she's here, TIME PASSES SO FAST.
HAHAHHA. as in, really really.
we camwhored? okay, more like SHE CAMWHORED ME.
AFTER THAT, ~~RAPED~~ USED MY PHONE.
ANDD DID ~~UGLY~~ PRETTY EDITING.
HAHAHHAHHA.

2007-03-09T14:18:00.000+08:00

HELLO D (:
haha, surprise house visit,
well not really a surprise.
but anyway, : DDD

DEE LOVES MY COMPANY.
:D
GAGAGAGAGAGA,

2007-03-05T23:28:00.000+08:00

fuck, i hate you.

2007-03-01T13:21:00.000+08:00

erhh.
im at home. didnt go school.
cus my throat's annoying me a lil bit.
cant really talk? think i scream too much.
during trng, when NO OTHER SENIOR WAS TRNG,
except me. cus they were either sick, got prac, and blah.
and THEN, ytday, studied with jamie in sch.
how i miss her so.
=(
screamed so much, and laughed like crazy.
whatever happened to studying. HAHAHA.
thenn, we had to go home, boo was with us,
but it was raining.
SO WE RAN THROUGH THE RAIN.
and WE WERE ALL SCREAMING like some mad women.
and BOO'S HEAD HIT INTO A BUNCH OF LEAVES! HAHAHAHA.
so she got even more wet. haha.
and i laughed EVEN MORE.
hence this bloody sore throat, to the point i cant talk.
then laughed EVEN more in the bus with boo on the way home.
camwhore-d but NONE came out right. haha.
im DEElicious. and boo's BOOtilicious.
HAHAHAHAH.
okay, im gon catch up on math.

ciao.

2007-02-25T12:48:00.000+08:00

Promise me you'll forget me
You said as you walked away
Don't hold on please
let go of me
You make it so hard to leave

life is a bore.
gagagagagaga.
ohoh, everybody,
IVE GOT AN IMAGINARY GAGA-BOY.
HAHA.
and i miss my gaga-boy. =(

this is so sad, ive got an IMAGINARY friend.
but its fun.
HAHA,
so anw. i was suppose to talk to the idiot last night.
cus she said she had sooo much to tell me.
but no, no calls frm her. HUH.
but hur, i forgot also luh.
HAHA.

erhhhhh.
yah, i think that's all ill post.

ciao ciao.

2007-02-19T16:35:00.000+08:00

i wanna know what turns you on,
so i can be all that, and more.
id like to know what makes you cry,
so i can be the one who always make you smile.

GAGAGA.

2007-02-19T14:25:00.000+08:00

cus you cant, and i cant.
penny for your thoughts too?

GAGAGAGAGA,
chee new year.
cant visit anybody.
well except my fam members.
no more ang baos than that.
=(
ahwells.

can i take your smile home with me,
or the magic in your hair.
you were there.

2007-02-16T19:04:00.001+08:00

oh its what you do to me.

2007-02-16T18:52:00.000+08:00

fuck ,

you've got an ugly mouth full of redundancy, sister.
so close it.
and get your piss somewhere else.
its too loud and noisy in here.

2007-02-15T18:22:00.000+08:00

Archers in your arches,
Raise your fingers for one last salute.
And bleed this skyline dry
Your history is mine.

I don't care for your sweet scent
Or the way you want me more than I want you.
I don't care for your sweet scent
Or the way you want me more than I want you.

its all mine.

2007-02-15T17:30:00.000+08:00

i know you like me,
you wanna kiss me,
i know you want me,
you think im sexy.
=)

damn, i feel like ponning sch everyday.
wahh. shiok.

2007-02-12T22:22:00.000+08:00

mm.

not suppose to be online,
but im bored and tempted.
uhm.
okayy, i had a wonderful ride home yet again with BOO.
okay, i wasnt forced to do that,
cant you tell, cant you sooo tell i wasnt forced to do that.
mmhm, nopee wasnt forced, wasnt forced.
HAHAHA.
okay luh, boo kept me laughing throughout today after match
though i was so FREAKING TIRED.
so happy to have happy trips home now.
=)
uhhuh. THANKS BOO.
btw, her mother LOVES ME.
mmhm yeap, no doubt i scored 10 points.
ANYWAY.
after match with SC, watched this exciting match btwn zhonghua and yuying.
FUCK YUYING WON BY ONE BLOODY POINT.
urrrrrrrrggghh.
the score was 33-36, yuying leading.
then the game was over, but at the last second,
this girl from zhonghua did a 3-point, but was fouled.
so aft the game, she had to do THREE FREE THROWS.
and if she got em in, it meant that it would be a tie.
first throw, shot. second, shot. last, missed.
SHITTTTTTTT LAH.
she cried of course, cus if im not wrong, they were one point away frm nationals.
GAWD, IF I WERE HER, ID JUST BREAK DOWN, CRY, STAB MYSELF, AND DIE.
then we offered them tissue,
well, chow did it. and, she said this 'here, you can share with your whole team.'
OMGAH. I WANTED TO STRANGLE HER PLEASE. WOW MAN, SO COMFORTING HUH CHOW.
but NVM.
so then we went to swensens with jiaolian,
cus WE were intending to do the treating.
but NO, SHE had to go give her golden card to the cashier,
and when i rushed there to stop the scanning,
i SCREAMED at the cashier while she scanned the card.
but, nth worked.
ahwells.
anw, it almost brought me to tears esp after reading her msg saying she loves us.
ahh.

jiaolian. =(

2007-02-11T01:17:00.000+08:00

whoa
stay with me
cigarettes and open air,
hand in hand
i said stay with me
cuz every star that i see
is brighter than the last
so stay with me

I CANT WAIT TO LEAVE IJ.

2007-02-07T16:28:00.000+08:00

; why i hate to go online.

2007-02-04T22:57:00.000+08:00

I can’t break away
from these chains to my heart
the further you push me
the closer you are
maybe I should try to let go
maybe I should try to walk away
there’s nothing left to say

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA.

2007-01-30T18:31:00.000+08:00

Special, like a rocket for me
oh Special,
you're working through me
I can't know this time

There's a taste that you can't shake
But you can't seem to let them go awry
Special,
you're working through me and this advice all day

I know you said to me
I look at the same time
I'll take you up and down
After I sing to you

I know you said to me
I look at the same time
What are you staying to do?
I saw the worst of you

2007-01-30T18:11:00.000+08:00

ouh ouh.
didnt go to school today.
getting quite worried bout my ESCALATING LAZINESS.
ouh ouh cheemoh.
but gonna attempt some math mm.
n'ways. had a lil talk with seniors ytday?
well, im hopingg, just really hoping it wont be just any talk that noone takes it in.
cus well, i think it'd be the last talk in ij bball, and tt's one reason why it means so much to me.
hokay hokay.
lets nt get too emoistic here yah.
okay, i think its a fact nw, that cj people forget their old friends (those nt in cj).
sigh. hopin none of my mouyos go there.
really, id rather go to ite than cj. (no offence to ite)
its taking all my friends awayyyy damnit.
sorry if i offended any of you blue people.
but i think its time you guys realise this?
cus some suddenly seem so blind when they enter cj,
and claim you miss your ij friends but aint doing anth bout it.
and some just, change. what's best, they dont even know they did.
hurr.
sigggghhhhh.

aiite, my blog, my opinion.
take it, leave it.
dont leave a spam or your opinion,
well cause i dont wanna hear it.
thanks much.

ciao.

2007-01-23T11:41:00.000+08:00

We'll be tonightless
We can't wait another moment
Our time will come before we know it
With your heart you've got to open up this time
I don't want to be alone tonight
Am I gonna be tonightless again
All of the loneliness has got to end
I know the years have been so bittersweet
But you don't have to go so please don't leave
Our souls are lost without eachother
We've gotta find time to recover (to recover)
If you hold me close this heartache will subside
I don't want to be alone tonight
Am I gonna be tonightless again
All of the loneliness has got to end
I know the years have been so bittersweet
But you don't have to go
so please don't leave
We'll be tonightless

2007-01-21T02:40:00.000+08:00

fun fun day,
but extremely tiring.
went to tp, then np.
and gawd, both schools are huge.
still nt sure which course to take.
though ive got a rough idea.
film media studies?
dont know, dont know.

kay, ill go sleep now.
nt gd to sleep late eh.
its 3am damnit.

2006-12-18T20:17:00.000+08:00

its silly, how you end up like this
still telling everyone it'll be alright,
that you'd make em happy
as you shine through your own light.

but noone sees it, this light,
this thing you try to convince them,
and yet they still believe in you,
they know to acheive this, only you can.

and though they try to help,
in your immature way, you shun.
even telling others to grow up,
why, even you yourself cant.

well, am i wrong to remind you to grow up
even when im alot younger,
or am i too bold or simply honest to say
than you, im pretty much braver.

all i said was 5 small words,
that you couldnt even handle.
you didnt like it, you tossed your words
that you simply couldnt control.

so tell me bout it, the whole of it,
and tell me when it'll be
the day when everyone widen their minds
and open their eyes to see.

what could i say, what could i do,
in between this narrow world.
filled with mouths and minds of people
that stubbornly wont unfold.

bring me your enemies,
lay them before me
and walk away.
walk away,
WALK AWAY.

2006-12-15T18:43:00.000+08:00

Fuck you firefly
Have you lost your light
Now I hate your ways
'cause they're just like mine
So you lost my friend
such a sorry end
Now I don't know why
so I joke and smile.
=)

2006-12-14T14:47:00.000+08:00

us in the toilet. HAHA.

that's sherry trying to zip up her pants. HAHAHHAHA. SHE'S SOOOOOO GON KILL ME.

this is sherry in the SAME CHANGING ROOM AS ME in mango, trying on, what she thought LOOKED BAGGY, but she couldnt even zip it up. HAHAHAHAHHAHAH.

a picture paints a thousand words,

so i just posted 4000 words, and moreeee.

hahaha.

WITH JAYNE+SHERRY= FUN, LAUGHTER, PEACE, JOY.

2006-12-12T15:59:00.000+08:00

i am yours. says:
i go see movie times now
i am yours. says:
what you wanna watch
; sherry. just e way you are. (((: says:
what show? hahah you teLL me whats there
i am yours. says:
3 needles,
i am yours. says:
a battle of wits
i am yours. says:
after this our exile
i am yours. says:
baabul
i am yours. says:
casion royale
; sherry. just e way you are. (((: says:
what 3 needLes. ahaha.
; sherry. just e way you are. (((: says:
i want a romantic movie........................
i am yours. says:
WAHLAO
i am yours. says:
CINDERELLA LAH
; sherry. just e way you are. (((: says:
but im cindereLLa. hahaha
i am yours. says:
...

2006-12-12T15:27:00.000+08:00

i dreamt of everything.
but i could only remember
"im not angry at you anymore".

PEOPLE.
GO WATCH THE VIDEO AT JAYNE'S BLOGG.
OMG.HHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

SHERRY'S LIVE PERFORMANCE ON
THE SONG "CHASING CARS".
=))
HAVE FUN.

2006-12-09T21:59:00.000+08:00

the right version:

when i was a young boy,
my father took me into the city to see a marching band.
he said somewhere you grow up,
will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned.
he said will you defeat them, the demons, and other non-believers...

my brother's version:

when i was a young boy,
daddy took me into geylang to see all prostitutes,
he said somewhere you grow up,
will you be the saviour of the fuckers who fucked them upside down.
he said will you defeat them, the bahpo, and those other emo assholes...

2006-12-09T02:00:00.000+08:00

pardon me, (im pmsing, i didnt have a really good day and ive been holding this fr too long)
but i really gotta say things here.
cus i cant say it anywhere else. cause if i write a letter, i dont know when to give it to you.
and yes, it'll be so damn difficult to.
so here goes.
i guess things didnt work out fr us even when we try to reason things.
yet, again, either of us shun away.
and it really really sucks cus i dont know when this is gon end.
and maybe it will, cus maybe this friendship already ended so we wont have to fight anymore.
its absolutely dumb, to fight over stupid things like how the present should go to you.
then again, whatever that happens to me is dumb. so yeah, im sorry you have to be in it.
anw. you know it, i know it, we both do. you dont want to talk to me,at all.
there isnt even a basic respect of 'hi'. its just always, 'huh.'
maybe i just cant stand the way you talk to me?
and we seldom talk at all, and when we do, it all goes wrong.
i guess im just insensitive and childish that i never really learn.
and really, im not being sarcastic.
sorry to spoil your night, yet again.
i thought i could talk things out.
but its time to face it, with the changed you, nth really works.
ill leave that junk at your grand's and ill tell her im sorry that i bothered.
you already hate me, far too much, that i dont think your gon stop having a grudge.
so even if i do this, i wont make you hate me more, since you alr do.
its been more than a year man. gawd. its good ive got bad memory.
thanks fr replying.
ciao.

2006-12-09T00:59:00.000+08:00

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

CHELLIEEEEEEE. =))
i know it was wrong, but i thought of chellie when those words came on the screen.

2006-12-08T23:38:00.000+08:00

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours,
I am Yours.

still, i doubt.

2006-12-08T18:07:00.000+08:00

wahhh my legs are like jelly.

today had friendly match with STC. cant remember the points,but we did well, and that's all i remember.
and i hope this will be kept up during matches.
as for me,i did badly,as usual. well, i improved this time. but still not there yet.
nt only did i do badly, i showed my temper on court.
and bloody hell i shouldnt have.
it was stc, yeah we all know how they're like. but i should never ever ever show my temper man.
that was the biggest mistake i made in this whole entire game.
i just hope none of our juniors do that.
and as far as im concern, i cant do that anymore in any other matches.
maybe its pms, but hey, i cant announce to the world ive got pms right.
so yeah, what i did, wrong.

so anw.
after match, had orientation prac.
and well, we're finally SOMEWHERE.
of cus, with sheila's help. its goood that she's around.
but its bad cus we're depending on her too much.
rahh, im still not stepping up. i dont feel senior-ish.
im still a dumb kokanaden blur like anth, and even when i know that, i cant seem to find a solution to it. they tell me 'focus.'
and im blur on that word too. wth.

THEN, went home and changed and met lionel on the bus,
while we made our way to serene centre.
there, he taught me basic guitar stuff.
and hell yeah he's good.
cus he really knows how to "translate" difficult stuff to beginner's learning.
and ive got his 500 dollar guitar now here with me, so id pretty much jam all day.
to practise, bloody hell i look like an ass in those weird stiff fingers.

okay okay,
gotta go to a concert now,

BYAWL.

2006-12-05T22:01:00.000+08:00

my plan worked out!!
after all the many many many calls and messages to inform everybody, and frm people to inform me bout stuff, like where she'll be AND ALL.GOSHH. SO DIFFICULT.
and after all the worries that thgs may not work out. gosh. im happy it worked out.=))
yay!
well, not very well. but hey, at least she smiled.

oh yes,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELIZABETH ANG SUI HAR!
goshh. as the days go by,
my money fly.
HAHA. IT RHYMES.
alrightyy,
so mary and claud came to my place and we started baking,
THEN. the oven suddenly chose to stop heating.
and we were wondering why,
so we opened it, and a WHOLE LOT OF SMOKE CAME OUT.
GOD. IT WAS CHAO TA!
and we all looked at each other like ' SHIT ' printed on our faces.
but hey, we got to cut out away the chao ta parts,
and hide the unglam parts with melted chocolate and hershey's kisses, and marshmellows all surrounding it.
AW MAN, IT LOOKED SO DAMN GOOD.
THEN, we rushed to town in a cab and waited fr sherry and jayne.
we were rushing cus the movie liz and ron were watching was at 4.45,
and ron said he wanted to go in already, and we heard he was getting pissed,sorry ronald!
so we surprised her, and well, she was quite, mm, not surprised?
maybe not pleasently surprised.
then we met tng and we chit chat fr pretty long.
goshhhhhh, they're CLOWNS. SHERRY JAYNE AND TNG.
HAHAHHA.

did i tell you, i called sherry last night at about 11.40 and jayne said she was sleeping, so i called sherry and woke her up
' sherry! sorry! were you sleeping?'
'nono, i wasnt, im getting ready for school.'
'huh?why you get ready now?you have school at night??'
'no ive to go school now, its 7.30am right?'
'uh no! its 11.42pm!!hahahhaahhaha'
'omg, i think im dreaming.'
'YOUR NOT!OMG! HAHAHAHAHHA.'
'NO REALLY I THINK IM HAVING A NIGHTMARE!'
'OMG NOOOOOO YOUR AWAKE! IM AWAKE!WE'RE NOT SLEEPING!'

omg omgggg.hahahahhahahahah.
she's damn bloody farny.
okay.
what a day.

im done. BYAWL.

2006-12-04T21:55:00.000+08:00

IVE GOT A RUNNY NOSE AND I HATE IT.
WAHHHHHHH.
I FEEL LIKE CUTTING UP MY WHOLE NOSE LAH.
wuh'piang.
DRIP LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW.
and it makes me not wanna eat,
but IM HUNGRY!
well, im not hungry, but MY STOMACH'S EMPTY MAN.
ploof.

so anw.
today had training, then went to get cake fr celine!
OHYAH.
HAPPY BIGBUTT BIRTHDAY TO CELINE JIANG!!

okie dokes.so we went to get cake and surprised her at macs,
what a place. but ah what the heck.
um, we had a LITTLE BIT A LITTLE DIFFICULTY trying to light the candles.
cause of that LITTLE BIT A LITTLE WIND.
yyeap.poor mary.
but anw, we had to stuff that blooming piece of cake down our throats cus it was just a LITTLE BIT A LITTLE BIG, especially when we just had our meals. oh but chellie wellie didnt.
HAHA, SO ANW.
tmr is another's bday, and ive a plan that i HOPE it works out.

haha, okay.
that's all.
BYAWL.

2006-12-04T21:15:00.000+08:00

and when you just dont know how and where to start.
cause there're so many words going through your mind.
words like 'you knew it was coming,deb! you knew it. but you couldnt handle it. you're simply, so damn weak.'
but you cant explain.
cause you've been hit. right there. where you've been hit a thousand times before.

and suddenly, it doesnt make sense. this whole blooming thing.
cause you've been thinking, everytime you're alone, on that same bed. you dont wanna think bout that. cause you know it wont stop. it runs, from one scene, goes to another that is chained to another scene, and the next. and in those little scenes, strangely, there's always that same person.
realising, you then want to think about donald duck, so you'd be taken away by another type of chain of thoughts. but it doesnt happen, it just leads to the same damn scene, or rather, that same damn moment.
then you suddenly realise its a stupid, dumb, bloody thought that doesnt do anything else but hurt you.

and then, you start.

you close your eyes, and listen to metal, that takes you to a place where you can think, of simply nothing. cus you cant listen to God anymore, not least hear him, cause you've given up, cause he suddenly
doesnt
talk.

then you pretend you're the guitarist in the metal song, and you jam, and you jam, and jam and jam. and it feels so comfortably real, like your fingers are bleeding too, that looks exactly like the guitarist's. and though it hurts, you smile. cause your bleeding fingers dont hurt as much as your bleeding heart, or whatever that blooming organ is called. then, you laugh, and you laugh, you laugh so so hard, to get it off your chest, cause after all, they say laughter is the best medicine,
right?
but it doesnt work, so you hit yourself, just hit yourself against that wall of the room, that wall you've been staring at for so, so long.

and eventually, the lights seep in, blinding your half opened, squinting eyes.
and you cry so honestly, cause you realised you've just woken from a beautiful dream.

2006-12-02T13:38:00.000+08:00

there is a woman wearing my clothes, my skin, my smell,
but it isnt me.
sin is like ink, it bleeds into a person, coloring, making you someone other than you used to be.
and its indelible.
try as much as you want, you cannot get yourself back.

words cant pull me back from the edge. neither can daylight.
this isnt something to get over, it is an atmosphere i need to learn to breathe.
grow gills for transgression, take it into my lungs with every gasp.

it is a startling thing. i wonder who this person is, going through the motions of my life.
i want to take her hand,
and then i want to push her,
hard,
off a cliff.

jodi picoult

2006-12-01T15:42:00.000+08:00

when we struck at without a reason,
we should stricke back again very hard;
i am sure we should -
so hard as to teach the person who struck us
never to do it again.
-charlotte bronte, Jane Eyre.

when heaven breaks, who fixes it?

2006-11-30T14:50:00.000+08:00

MY SISTER PASSED HER DRIVING TEST!
WOOHOO YEAH.

2006-11-27T23:17:00.000+08:00

I HATE WIFE-STEALERS.
oh man.
she's gon hate me even more when she sees this.
HAHAHA.

OH YAH UPDATE.
I GOT MARRIED YTDAY 26th november 2006 TO
RACHEL CHEONG YI WEN
but i dunno if we've divorced yet.

ANW
MY WIFE'S BIRTHDAY IS IN 45 MINS TIME.
I LOVE MY WIFE!

2006-11-18T00:26:00.000+08:00

Last night I had a dream about you
In this dream I'm dancing right beside you
And it looked like everyone was having fun
the kind of feeling I've waited so long

Don't stop come a little closer
As we jam the rythm gets stronger
There's nothing wrong with just a little little fun
We were dancing all night long
The time is right to put my arms around you
You're feeling right
You wrap your arms around too

But suddenly I feel the shining sun
Before I knew it this dream was all gone

Ooh I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
I wish this dream comes true

Ooh I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
We'll make this dream come true

15th november 2006

2006-11-16T01:54:00.000+08:00

A LOVELY HAPPY DAYYYYYYY.
hahahaha thanks so much all of yall fr wishes, presents,thoughts,cakes and love.
really, when you say 'happy bday', i REALLY DID HAVE A HAPPY BDAY.
so anws, ill type the whole day down, and i thinks its gon take me the night.
in the morning, dear debbo is late fr sch again, gee, whats new.

okay so anw, was late and when i reached class, on my table was, a cake box in a sweet secret plastic bag, specially from YVE AND PHY.four different types of chocolate cake.love love LOVED it!=))thank you guys.

then, under the table was stitch in a bag of sweets, specially given by DAWNDAWN.UBER UBER CUTE.lurve it.=)) thank you sayang.though i dont think you'd be reading this.haha,I LOVE YOU ANW.

then, MARY gave me sth, nicely wrapped up, with her writings.=) ripped the wrapper, a long long niceee sweeett letter, then a FREAKING black sabbath cd, then opened a box, and saw a white belt THAT IVE BEEN WANTING FR SOOOOOOOO LONG, and a COOL black suspenders. aw man. SWEETNESS MAN. she just knows me best.=) thank you darling.not only fr the wishes,presents,letters, but also fr every single day spent with you. always there,taking care of me.im just so damn lucky ive got you as a friend.the whole friendship,4 years, feels like ive known you forever.i sure had nt only a happy birthday, but a really really happy life.you're like one of THE most impt ppl that makes this pethadic life a meaningful one.i found meaning cus of you mary. I LOVE YOU MUCH.
and thenn,

aft sch, was preparing to go down, and received a BEAUTIFUL CARD frm chady pady.thank you dear, fr spending your time at night just to do it fr me.really really love it.=)

then, went down, and saw basketballers. yup, you guessed it. they never ever fail to get a cake fr ppl's bdays EVEN WHEN THEY'VE GOT O'S.GOSHH.
thanks fr the cake guys, i sure got fatter. but im going training soon!
CHELLIE,CHOWIE,YOWYOW,GUANGUAN,AND ALL THE GAZILLION JUNIORS , THANK YOU MUCHHHHHHHHHHHH.
and thanks fr the nice wishes in the letters sec ones!
you're really sweet.=)
btw,everybody witness this, CHELLIE OWES ME A DATE.HAHAHA.
aft o's chellieee aft o's!ahhhhhhhh. its coming.haha.
okay, yowyow really can cut cakes. the cake was well, a LITTLE UGLY. but im sure it tasted good,=)
talked to you guys like after how many years? ahahaha. sigh. i miss you all.

then nicole p. gave a a really really really extremely sweet card, and the thought of her actually remembering my bday and spending money and time to do the card and the bear she gave, ahhhhh. i feel so damn guilty. like i dont even know her bday cus we're nt close, and though we shared sth special at self awareness, i just cant seem to be able to keep it, but she still does, and i really am touched by that. ill return with a reply nicole! i will! i really do hope i rmb.
anw, nicole, whether you see this or not, thank you fr the gift and letter.=)

okay, then drea,mary and i headed home to get ready fr the dinner,
before going home, went to drop by at the childcare my cousin's working and suffering at.haha.
she turned 16 on the same day i did.cool eh?haha.
she gave me a lovely bracelet frm perlini's silver, and i gave her an angbao frm my mum.
WTF. yes, debbo's going to get sth nice fer her too.=))
i miss you!and happy bday to you too.

then went home and bathed and RUSHED, cus phy msged saying she gotta meet me to pass an urgent letter frm miss kuan and blahblah. bloody hell.
met mary, and we rushed down tgt to lido, but no, no letter frm miss kuan, instead a SURPRISE BDAY CAKE from phy yvelyn and claud. aw man. it was sweet.. they came singing with their cracking voices.hahaha. took pics with claud and mary.ahh. i love em so.
CLAUD, THIS IS FOR YOU.
i dont know how to load photos and stuff, but this goes to you, firstly, i am, too, missing the times we had, all that you've mentioned in the letter and on your blog. still laughing my heart out remembering all those thgs we did tgt. the fights, the jokes, the embarrassments, nomatter where we were, or who was looking, there was just us, having fun like there's no tomorrow.
ill rmb them. and it'll be hard to forget. but hey, why're we talking like there's isnt going to be anymore? there's going to be more okay. more memories to rmb.
shared my most personal things with you, with a knowing that you wouldnt tell it to anyone. trust in you, i have and always will. you were there with me, when i had problems with anyone, comforting me, and healing the situation, but it was heartache when you were the person i had a conflict with. and then suddenly noone was there anymore to heal the situation, but we healed it ourselves, slowly.didnt we? cus i missed you, and i think you did too.
thank you for the cake dearest, it was really really a gd cake.haha.
and thank you for this friendship, thank god you didnt give up on it. just to let you know, i havent. =) i love you ass.always did, always will.

okay then, mary and i headed to mezza9. #!$#&^*&#@%^*! to get our salary checked and stuff.
then quickly went out of the hotel and OUT to jalan. look see, and i got a nice purse, finally.
my wallet's coin section's got holes.haha. anw, its niceeeeeee. hand made. and i got a discount! auntie gave me at 3 bucks instead of 4. awww. thank you auntie! im really ONE LUCKY LUCKY BIRTHDAY GIRL MAN.HAHA.okay, then we headed to meet drea na dawn at swensens and saw joel tommy and benjamin too. and they gave a taking back sunday cd! the latest one lahh. ahh.thank youuuuuu guys!!okay then we went in, waited fr linn awhile, and ATE ATE ATE. then, swensens gave a complimentary birthday ice cream which was uber yummy! and SANG A BLOODY BIRTHDAY SONG FR ME.
GAWD. THEY MADE ME STAND! infront of everyone at the restaurant lahh! took the balloon they gave and covered my face.hahhaha.anw, thanks swensens!
then na drea and linn went to the loo and we thought they fell into a hole cus they were taking so damn long, but soon, they came back with a famous amous heart shaped box with cookie in it and a BIGASS BOUQUET OF FLOWERS.TIGERLILLIES!HAHA, GOSHH.
THANK YOU GUYSSSSS!!!SO SO MUCH.=)) LOVE YOUUU.
then we went to starbucks, and slacked there while linn and na camwhored. then joel tommy and ben came and slacked along with us, then mary had to go then we played dare and dare, made drea sit on tommy's lap, made joel dirty dance/hump/grind a dustbin.hahahHAHAHHA.WAS SUPER FUNNY.HAHA.
then saw AN TING and FRED and a few ahbengs.ahhhhh i missed anting alotttttttt. that innocent boy. okay then we all went to play pool at K POOL. wah. so long didnt play, felt bloody embarrassed while playing, couldnt get anth in! anw, me and dawn soon gave up, then na and drea had to go, and soon dawn and i went home in cab while i carried a BIG bouquet of flowers with 3 balloons and a plastic bag with their presents,
wah i felt like santa claus fr a moment.
anw, i could hardly come out of the taxi. haha.
and now, MY BDAY'S OVER.
OH DAMN DAMN DAMN.
i guess time really flies when your enjoying yourself.
i sure did.
thank you guys again. this is the best birthday i ever ever had in these 16 years.
you sure made it one HAPPY birthday.

love;

2006-11-10T19:56:00.000+08:00

yknow what,
come to think of it,
i really miss quite a number of people.

i miss claud,
i miss eliz,
i miss chellie,
i miss guan,
i miss yowyow,
i miss chowie,
i miss sexiest,
i miss lala,
i miss fugly,
i miss marbles,
i miss wil,
i miss breastman,
i miss jayjay,
i miss ian
i miss shawn.
although i just saw ian nt too long ago.
mm,
i miss farhan,
i miss angel(both),
i miss borice,
sigh man.
and the bloody list goes on.
im sorry if i left out your name,
my brain's nt screwed properly yet.
i probly left out a hell lot of ppl, that i really really really miss,
but didnt put it down.
and if i rmb after i post this,
id most probably go "shit! i didnt put this person! how can i forget!"
so you get it, ive got a goldfish brain.
fwahaha.

2006-11-10T19:50:00.000+08:00

what the fuck man.
whats the bloody fucking problem?
i dont see it,
and i dont know why you're making it upon your FUCKING SELF.
youre making it an issue when there isnt one ANYWAY.
yeah, that's good, leave the damn house.
oh like FINALLY.
whats the whole issue with me not going?
i dont get it man.
i really DONT.
ah fuck, i swear there's sth wrong with me.
i need to get back to church,
cus i can go anti-christ anytime man.
damn.

2006-11-10T19:06:00.000+08:00

although you're sleeping right next to me,
well it feels like you are wide awake in a distant dream.
leading a life that is finally free,
of these endless nights and countless fights
that turned us into
who we hate to be.

and this is so difficult for the both of us,
i know we tried so hard,
there's just no hope for us.
well its more than a shame
that we lost to this game,
all my walking, talking, sleeping, breathing,
nothing will ever be the same.

love;

2006-11-04T19:39:00.000+08:00

and after that,

that cause my comatose to begin. says:
go see my blog
ChaNdNi says:
what is ur blog adD?
that cause my comatose to begin. says:
http://iam-shithole.blogspot.com
ChaNdNi says:
hahaha
ChaNdNi says:
!!!!
ChaNdNi says:
idiot
ChaNdNi says:
u put the whle conversation
ChaNdNi says:
hahahaha
ChaNdNi says:
ill get u back
ChaNdNi says:
im ggmake u all wet
ChaNdNi says:
and make u kiss an ugly pole in sch
ChaNdNi says:
u wait
ChaNdNi says:
im strong okay!
that cause my comatose to begin. says:
yeah
that cause my comatose to begin. says:
waiting

2006-11-04T19:27:00.000+08:00

that cause my comatose to begin. says:
hi ass
ChaNdNi says:
heyy deb deb!!
ChaNdNi says:
haha
ChaNdNi says:
how u?
that cause my comatose to begin. says:
better without you
ChaNdNi says:
omg!!
ChaNdNi says:
so rudee!!

oh chady pady.
you brighten up my day.=)

2006-11-02T01:34:00.000+08:00

know why i love metal?
cus it makes no fucking sense.
and it makes me not wanna think.
the noise makes silence,serenity and peace in my mind.
the music from that guitar makes me feel like the guitarists are bleeding through their fingers while they strum.
bleed bleed.id rather physical than internal bleeding.
emo fucks, get outta my butt.
you're only making things worse.
pass me two e33 and two gin and tonic.
and maybe one small blowing shot.
to top it all of,
a little weeny fag,
before i die.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

2006-11-02T01:10:00.000+08:00

if i shut this door again,
would you care to open it?
and if the door is metal and has no knob,
would you care to figure a way through it?
or would you simply strut a nice walk away,
while i try figure something to make you wanna turn back.
cus you know, i dont know why im doing this,
when i can predict everything.

2006-10-30T11:57:00.000+08:00

song on the blog is the sweetest thgg!
meaningful song and the guy's voice suits perfectly.
got it from ian and ever since,
i fell in love with the song!
ahhhhhhh.
url to lyrics of it below the tagboard.

2006-10-29T01:34:00.000+08:00

but did you wanna listen,
you took the world with you,
so what is left for me,
so what is left for me.
i love my blasting music,
but it aint loud enough.
metal soooo kicks butt.
gotta have it gotta have it.

so anw, hiyawll.

today was off! WOOHOO.but back at work tmr.fwah.
hmm. gotta wake at 7 tmr fr mass.
dont wanna miss another.
so gdnightt bozos.
ill be back.=)

PS. TO ALL THOSE TAKING THEIR O'S,
DONT GET STRESSED MAN.IT IS JUST BOOKS,PAPER AND INK.
THINK BOUT IT, WHAT DOESNT KILL YOU ONLY MAKES YOU STRONGER.=)
AND IM HERE IF YOU WANNA LEAN ON STH.
LOVE.

2006-10-26T19:38:00.000+08:00

this is the fucked up cycle of life.

happiness, then comes,
too much of happiness, then,
ungratefulness,
then stress,
and then pms,
then anger,
then sadness,
then depression,
then, I DONT SEEM TO CARE ANYMORE.
=)

my lovely cycle ;
take it or leave it.

2006-10-23T02:49:00.000+08:00

Someday we'll know
if love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you
Someday we'll know
why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go dancin' on the moon
Someday you'll know
that I was the one for you

mezza9

2006-10-23T02:14:00.000+08:00

FYI.

working at mezza9 at hyatt hotel currently.
12-4. 7-11++++pm.
yeah. note the PLUS SIGN.
working there sucks.
but hey, at least we've got the sweetest/funniest/nicest guys there.
some are surprsingly, pretty hot.
yeah, girls too. well, two NICE girls.
im pretty much know as baba/dobra/darling/dangerous/xiao mei etc.
goshh. there're probably some other stupid names they'll come up with.
whatever it is, im loving them.most of em.
they make my day, really.
but some just PUT IT DOWN SO BAD.
oh CHEFS TOO! there're so niceee.so so sweet.
they're damn cute lah, when i cried like a puss, they just suddeny kept quiet and stopped joking.
and then gave me a so called "100 bucks" fruit, a grape.
shdugfykughbdhb. somemore its a SEEDY grape.
but thanks chef.
managers are fun and really caring.
but some are just a pain in a bursting nerve.
hm, lets see, im dieing in those formal shoes with heels,
not say damn high, it just fucking HURTS.
but hey, i guess im starting to get used to it.
and its great being served with food from shawn.
fried rice, lotus rice( IT WAS UBER GOOD MAN) plus chocolate cakes and whats not.
thanks so much darling!
wooohooo! debbie's getting fatter each day at work.
best of all, food is FREE.
cus we get it from the chefs.
mm.
lemme see..
oh yeah, 3 out of 10 guests there are SNOBS.
gay bastards,bitches, of million kinds, name it.
mm,
dick lee, florence lien are regulars.
that other gay guy came once, know his name, just dont know how to spell.
ahwells,
THANK HEAVENS im working at the martini bar tmr,
slack slack slack, i hope.
and DARLING DAWN IS COMINGGGGGGGG,
now im even more happy.
see how im missing the outside world?
im just stuck at the restaurant.
so bloody deprived.
but hey, i get the ka-chings man.
cant wait to receive.
then i can party?
maybe, i hope.
well, i could party with my colleagues if lessies arent free.
talking bout party, angel's a babe!
funny and a dumbdumb.
hahaha.
okay shall go get some sleep/nap/ whatever.
byawl.

chellie!!! id still be free fr you! =))

cant sleep

2006-10-18T02:13:00.000+08:00

mm.
cant sleep, keep thinking, keep peeping.
the more i peep, the more i remember,
and the more i wanna cry.
i dont wanna sound like a puss here,
but hey, maybe its my turn to feel the purest of pain.
have fun.

to every broken heart in here
love was once a part, but now it's disappeared
she told me that it's all a part of the choices that your making
even when you think you're right
you have to give to take

but there's still tomorrow
forget the sorrow
and I can be on the last train home
watch it pass the day
as it fades away
no more time to care
no more time, today

but we sing
if we're going nowhere
yeah we sing
if it's not enough
and we sing
sing without a reason
to ever fall in love

i wonder if you're listening
picking up on the signals
sent back from within
sometimes it feels like I don't really know whats going on
time and time again it seems like everything is wrong in here

but there's still tomorrow
forget the sorrow
and I can be on the last train home
watch it pass the day
as it fades away
no more time to care
no more time, today

but we sing
if we're going nowhere
yeah we sing
if it's not enough
and we sing
sing without a reason
to ever fall in love
well we sing if we're going nowhere
yeah we sing if it's not enough
and we sing
sing without a reason to ever fall in love

but we sing
if we're going no where
yeah we sing
if it's not enough
and we sing
sing without a reason to never fall in love
to never fall in love again

wtf is wrong with you

2006-10-18T00:23:00.000+08:00

okay, you're really just a.. pain in the itchy nerve.
that's all i gotta say. ill just leave thgs as they are.

mm. had a terrible terrible dream/nightmare maybe?
well, i was happy i dreamt of you, cus i havent seen you a gazillion years.
mm, just typed out what the dream was about, and deleted it.
cus i think i should really start forgetting.

today went to queensway with mary,
got a unicorn airbrush,choker,ear rings.
then went home.

yeah,boredom.
im gon sleep.
byeawl.

2006-10-16T18:30:00.000+08:00

hmm.
today went to take passport photo with mary.
as always, my photos turn out absolutely atrocious.
ahwells, im cool with tt.

sometimes i wonder if you wanna see me at all really.

VIVIOCITY! IM COMINGGG.

2006-10-14T12:30:00.000+08:00

hehehehhehehe.
my mommy's bringing me to vivocity later!
despite her nt allowing me to go out and meet mary.
blardy hell.
but anw, yayyyy vivocity!!
i wanna get all the denim stuff i can get.
i seem to have a sudden fetish fr them. mm.
so yeap.
gonna shop my CHEEBAI out today.
i hope?
with no money in my hands when i enter,
and with a gazillion shopping bags when i go out.
wahhahah.
yay yay yay.

you're full of bullshit,yknow that.

river story

2006-10-14T03:02:00.000+08:00

i remember when life was good,
i shilly-shallied across meadows,
tumbled down mountains,
i laughed and gurgled through woods,
stretched and yawned in a myriad of floods.
insects,weightless as sunbeams,
settled upon my skin to drink.
i wore lily-pads like medals.
fish, lazy and battled-scarred,
gossiped beneath them.
the damselflies were my ballerinas,
the pike my ambassadors,
kingfishers, disguised as rainbows,
were my secret agents.
it was a sweet time, a gone time.
a time before factories grew,
brick by greedy brick.
and left me cowering in monstrous shadows,
like drunken giants,
they vomited their poisons into me.
tonight a scattering vagrant bluebells,
dwarfed by the same poisons,
toll my ending.
children, come and find me if you wish.
i am your inheritance.
behind the derelict housing estates,
you will discover my remnants.
clogged with garbage and junk,
to an open sewer ive shrunk.
i, who have flowed through history,
who have seen hamlets become villages,
villages become towns, towns become cities,
am reduced to a trickle of filth,
beneath the still, burning stars.
-brian patten.

my verse in the speaking of verse and prose exam in november.
just memorized this in less than 20 mins,
cus i love it. its beautiful eh?

HYATT JOB BABY!

2006-10-14T00:58:00.000+08:00

and so,
THE BLOODY WINDOW GOT SHUT DOWN AND MY WHOLE POST WAS GONE!
SO THAT MEANS I GOTTA MAKE A NEW ONE.
UGHH PUKE.
so anw,
had steamboat with beautiful people day before ytday.
lovely people were there,
mary,dawn,na,ta,chad,rach,drea aly AND KEVIN
i gotta put the caps, so kev knows im posting bout him.
see, KEV, IM POSTING BOUT YOU.
HAHAH.
so anws, kevin did the wave thg that was damn gay but super uber CUTE LAH.
(why do i have a thg for guys who act gay nowadays? like, legin. mm.)
HAHAH
aly and kev.
what a nice match. the CUTE COUPLE. HEY HEY.
so anws,
I GOT THE HYATT JOB!!!!!
WOOHOOOOOOO.
IM WORKING AS A WAITRESS IN A FASHION-SUICIDE* UNIFORM AT GRAN HYATT HOTEL SINGAPORE.
UH HUH.
wooooooh im starting on mondayee baby!
haha, lets hope thgs go well.
dont wanna drop any dumbass glass on a customer's head.
like gee man, ID BE A MURDERER ON THE FIRST DAY OF WORK.
ohh so anw, today was cool.
did cip and shit at st joseph's.
yeah was cool. was cool.
okay i wanna post this down before this window closes.
URGH.
byee yawl.
dont slip fall and die.

watched extreme makeover, the guy finally made a date of marriage with his girl after he got his self esteem. and he chose, june 18th saturday. cool eh?
did i tell you i fucking hate players.

2006-10-12T02:25:00.000+08:00

dont you think my template's so cool!
HAHHAHA.
but i think its like fucking depressing lah walao.
like the poor no balls man got no ten cents or cashcard to make a call to his girl.
HAHA.
or like he's thinking what the hell is the thg infront of him.
bloody swahgu.
like walao, damn depressing sia.
i feel weird tonight, so i decided to put this.
HAHAHA.
okay i decided i should come back to the EARTH,
AND REVIVE FROM THE BLOODY BOREDOM,
so im here POSTING since the last post in august.
HAHAHA.

NO MORE N'S NO MORE N'S NO MORE N'S.
HEE. just felt like saying that,
but its not making me feel any better
cause i know my o's are coming too.
oh bloody balls.
nvm nvm.
i shall work my cheebai out for o's.
i SHALL. i hope.

rah i feel so outta place, shit.

2006-08-19T22:32:00.000+08:00

EFF OFF. JUST EFF OFF.
OMG.
IM GON DELETE MY BLOG.
HATE EVERYONE.
URGGGGGGGH.
BYE STUPID WORLD.

2006-08-18T19:56:00.000+08:00

i woke up this morning
with a song in my head,
it was burning a hole,
through the back of my head.
i was calling a boy's name,
i was punching the air.
then i put my head out the window
to get some fresh air.
i woke up this morning,
my heart was on fire.
i wanted to scream,
or drive away in a car.
checked my bum for spots,
it was clear as the day.
i couldnt stop thinking
about running away.
you've been so mean to me baby,
so mean i cant go on.
ill drink myself to death now,
by the end of this song.

wooh. isnt it a nice song.
and best of all,YOU CANT FIND IT ANYWHERE.
its self-tuned by mary and i.
and got the lyrics from my acting piece.
woohh tothebrownballs,
i love it.=)

2006-08-16T19:23:00.000+08:00

CHYECHYE'S A FUGLY,
SHE'S SO UGLY,
I DONT WANNA SEEEEE.
BECKER'S SO SEXY,
THAT HE MAKES ME WANNA WEE WEE.

HAHAHHAA.
the song's stuck in my head!!!
oh duncha love it!
self creation! uh huh uh huh.
with the help of anger management's song thg that adam sandler sang.

WOOH.
KUNO BECKER'S THE SEXIEST.
MY NEW FOUND LOVE.
ALL MINE. NO STEALING.
goshhhhhhhhh.

2006-08-15T23:38:00.000+08:00

wait,
she isnt me. haha.oh silly deb.
how could you have thought.

2006-08-14T19:09:00.000+08:00

Well youre the closest thing I have
To bring up in a conversation
About a love that didnt last
But I could never call you mine
Cause I could never call myself yours
And if we were really meant to be
Well then we justify destiny
Its not that our love died
Just never really bloomed

Well I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I cant let go
I cant move on from the past
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.

And then we saw our paths diverge
And I guess I felt OK about it.
Until you got with another man,
And then I couldnt understand
Why it bothered me so.
How we didnt die we just
Never had a chance to grow.

I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I cant let go
I cant move on from the past.
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.

And it might not make much sense
To you or any of my friends
Though somehow still you affect the
Things I do.
And you cant lose what you never had
I dont understand why I feel sad
Every time I see you out with someone new.

I cant let go
No, I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you.

2006-08-13T21:23:00.000+08:00

URGHHH.

damn. life's being a bitch.
why did i go online. WHYYYYYYYY.

2006-08-04T00:24:00.000+08:00

so when everythg gets cocked up,
what do you do.
take your place in it,
or just simply watch the scene and swallow those abrupt words.

from a stoner's view,
i guess it feels much better watching the world rush past.
it sucks though. and i wonder why.
but i dont wanna wonder too much.
cus it only puts me down.
so ill just stay quiet,
and watch the unending movie.
title?
what life gives, is what you get.

and you'd rather accept it all,
cus it'll come your way somehow.
you dont have full control of it,
so, dont try.
let go, let God.
learnt sth new, get pass it, and move on.
lingering around isnt gonna bring you anywhere.
so walk on.

life may be a real bitch.
but it is bitches that beauty can be created.
so love this bitch as you have it now.
cus once you sprinkle some love in it,
its beauty will unfold.

forgive.
as you would wanna be forgiven.
take that pride away,
and say those remorseful words.
cause this is the essence of a tissue that cleans up the mess.

appreciate.
cause once its gone, you dont know if it'd come back.
and trust me, it'd go at the time you least expect.
dont let that happen, cause regret will take its place.

be patient,
the happiness is still rolling up into a great ball that will come right at you.
its in the process.
and if you rush it, it may just screw up.
so wait.
no duration is ever too long.

random?
maybe. just sharing what ive learnt.
and maybe it'd get to some of you.
love.

-deb.

2006-07-31T00:14:00.000+08:00

it sucks to know you guys cant cooperate..
just cant.
one blaming the other.
hm. isnt that what kids do?
please alright.
this is a friendship.
and now its become so fragile that the pieces cant be put together.
whats up man.
whats up.
we cant leave it like that right.
ive tried.
but i guess not hard enough.
cause i know i cant do much,
and if i do sth, im afraid ill make thgs even worse.
now she's trying,
and you just cant bloody cooperate.
please alright.
she can actually not be bothered bout your juvenile act,
and leave thgs as they are.
but you know what,
you're her friends.
mine too.
not acquaintances. friends dude. friends.
and that's why we're doing this.
you both are in the wrong, let me tell you from a third party's point of view.
so i wont hear the blames you have for one another.
trust me, im not very bothered.
i wanna hear the forgiveness man,
you blaming urself, and seeking forgiveness frm each other.
any of you doing that?
hm.
lets just look into tmr yeah pal.

2006-07-30T15:01:00.000+08:00

i know ive so much work to do.
so much homework to complete.
and so much more to study.
but im not doing anythg bout it.
okay,
i attempted.
took out the book, but just stoned at it.
WTH.
URGGHHH.
cant wait fr night study.

2006-07-29T02:49:00.000+08:00

what a beautiful smile.
can i stay for awhile,
on this beatiful night.
we'll make everythg right.
my beautiful love.

love this beautiful beautiful song.

2006-07-29T00:57:00.000+08:00

hm.
seems like this will be a longlong post eh?
its like 1am now and i wun sleep until i blog bout today cus i know i wun come online that often anymore.
well,today's been a great day now wasnt it?
training with you guys.the last. hope there'd be more?but it wont be the same.

my speech back at the ava wasnt all that gd.as in,i didnt say what i need yall to know.its my brain,its too slow to think of anthg at that moment.so im tryin it out nw.

so i guess i could really feel it now, its a fact,time flies.
so fast that it felt like ytday when i signed up for bball.
was the first to sign up,honestly really eager to join.
and im so glad i did.
4 whole years in ij seemed like 4 seconds.
but when i look back at those pictures we took, i couldnt help but admit to myself that you guys,you bunch of silly people closest to my heart,are leaving.
just like that.
anyone in my shoes, who felt the passion,honestly nt all fr the game.who made the lamest jokes just to make you smile.who shed the sweat,tears for you,with you.
and now left behind, to watch you go,
would breakdown,and just cry.
its us, and noone quite understand what a team is until they've experienced this.

shit shit shit.
im screwing this up..
its all choked up in my mind and i dont know how to lay them all out in words to let you guys know what i mean.
im just gon miss you..
alot..a hell lot.
omg.
i cant belive this.i seriously seriously cant..URGH.DEB. THEY'RE GOING. GET IT IN YOUR FREAKING HEAD DAMNIT.

okay. maybe this can help.
read the lyrics of my favourite song,
i never dreamt to be this way.
i lost any chance for me to say,
to say that i miss you,say that i love you
will someone please tell me im okay.
i wasnt prepared fr whats to come,
a life made of memories,
gone so young.
and now im regretting all ive done.
but in your heart, know that im with you all along.
whereever you go,i will be waiting.
whenever you call, i will be there.
whatever it takes, ill make your darkest days so bright.
im in your heart tonight.
i never thought that this could go,
and take me away frm all i know.
and leave me to think im on my own.
but your love will save me,
you were the one
who sat through nights,
you held me tight.
and made sure im okay.
well i thank you for the love you gave to me.

basketballers, we know this is our place.
i love you.always did,always will.

2006-07-23T15:16:00.000+08:00

you just spoilt the image i had of you.